Hello dear bloggy friends and a very happy new year to you!!
Welcome Mrs L Hughes, Snoskrad and Bloglover on Bloglovin. Great to see you here.
I feel I don't really deserve my followers as I'm such a tardy poster nowadays.
Are you all up to your knees in mud? We are, slipping and sliding everywhere. I usually work in the garden between Christmas and new year, but it has been impossible as it is so muddy and standing on wet ground has never done it any good.
While I haven't been posting I have been reading blogs, some of which have been quite thought provoking and I have been fired up with ideas for posts which have petered away to nothing overnight. I think 2016 will be my year for being lazy!
I don't know about you but I seem to be surrounded by sickness at the mo. Not just this awful coldy thing that we have all been suffering from (3 weeks and counting for most folk) but serious life changing stuff, from cancer to heart problems to allergies to depression. I don't think there is a group or family around me that is not affected by some such seriousness.
For many years I was a field Social Worker working with adults with disabilities/ life changing illnesses. I considered this to be a vocation rather than a job and, like many SWs, put in many many more hours than I was contracted to do, often taking my work home with me and working through the night with no resentment.
And here comes a dreadful admission... I think I have little left to give! I am sympathied out! I am a caring husk! If I have to sit at a party/in a pub and listen to any more conversations that are about statins and blood pressure and back ache and blood tests and scans and special foods and jabs for this and that I think I shall scream.
It's an awful admission I know and you can now hate me for the nasty person I seem to be!
Back soon with a nicer post.
Gillx
Hey who you calling horrible, your not only human, sensory overload thats what it is, when I had the craft shop and met up with friends all they wanted to talk about was crafts and i wanted to talk about every day things, washing powder weeds what to cook for dinner, even now when strangers know what I did they want to ask me questions how to do, could I teach them sometimes it makes me feel like screaming, although I am feeling a lot better about and starting to enjoy it again, I know it dosent compare to life and death situations it was just overload, give yourself some time and be a bit easier on yourself :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the helpful comment Dawn. I too want to talk about varied subjects!
DeleteGill
Not nasty at all, I sometimes feel totally warn out by it all after spending my working life supporting and advising people. Probably one of the reasons I want to move out into the country and shut myself away for a while.
ReplyDeleteI'm retired now, but when I was working I did find being able to just sit and "be" in out paddock. Good luck with your search...it WILL happen
DeleteGill
Hope everyone feels better soon. I wish I had some mud to report but it is dry as here.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteWe all seem to be struggling with our weather at the moment don't we? There is so much energy in the weather. At least here in the midlands we haven't had the floods they are experiencing a little further north.
Gill
You Take that all back ! You are not a horrible person. We all get worn out by life. I always say life always gets in the way of living.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about all the wet, mud and rain.
cheers, parsnip and thehamish
Thanks parsnip.
Deleteit is not raining today.. hurrah! I shouldn't moan as further north they have floods, which when they go down will leave then with mud of epic proportions.
Gill
You are a very kind person, but you've been burnt out from the weight of it all. You will feel better soon, after the creeping crud creeps on off down the road away from you. Everyone has to deal with something, sometimes all you can do is offer up a quick prayer for them, and move on. Otherwise you become useless from the weight of it all..... Your posts will brighten up, press on!
ReplyDeleteThanks Annie. I promise my next post will be brighter. I am working on it now!
DeleteGill
I was just listening to someone on the radio who had cared for a neighbour after his wife died. Eventually he became so reliant on her that her life was being controlled by him, and she felt obliged to get social services to take over. I can understand how she felt, and no-one would have begrudged her getting her life back. I think the same applies to you!
ReplyDeleteI have known so many carers that burn out, looking after individuals. I have a friend who was cleaning for a couple and when the wife died my friend became more and more involved with helping the man that he now phones my friend with all sorts of issues at all sorts of times. It is a shame that something she used to do willingly, she now resents.
DeleteGill
Agree with the others. No way are you horrible, you're lovely and caring and burnt out.
ReplyDeletexxx J
Thanks Joy. I'll be back to my usual self soon (whatever that is! he he )
DeleteGill
Nothing wrong with a bit of self preservation! It's not being horrible, it's protecting yourself against burnout. Many of us have reached that point. You just need to shut yourself off from it. Certainly it's not a nasty trait at all :)
ReplyDeleteThanks HH I'm feeling a little less horrible now!
DeleteGill
I agree with all the other comments above. It's so easy to get sucked in and get sympathy burnout. I felt the same when my mother was relying on me totally for everything. I had no holidays and was always on call if she fell down (sometimes on purpose, I suspected)I was close to a mental and physical breakdown at the time. You need time to recover by doing ordinary things and relaxing. Don't beat yourself up about it. I hope you feel better soon x
ReplyDeleteI think much of what I'm experiencing is also about the age of many of my friends. We are now late 60s early 70s and I suppose health-type stuff is bound to be a fave subject!
DeleteI came across many women like yourself when I was working. Selfless women who end up doing everything at great personal cost to themselves.
Gill
Oh dear, better not read my blog then!
ReplyDeleteThe weather is pretty grotty here today - continuous rain since first thing but at least this is the first day like this and not the 4th like east Scotland.
I will keep reading, because I don't think you are horrible, just peeeed off by people and January. and are you sure you want 'lazy' as your word of the year?
I have been following your blog re. Col. I have wanted to comment, as we went through a similar experience some years ago when David was diagnosed with cancer of the lymphatic system. But decided to wait a little while Col's test were being carried out.
DeleteI think that it's the "just in case " stuff that is getting me down most The taking of statins and bp, low dose warfarin etc pills by people who take pills as a badge of honour, with little thought or knowledge of the side affects. (my husband takes God knows how many pills a day, some to counteract others)
I think "can't be arsed" would be more accurate than lazy, if I am honest!
Gill
I believe we all have a 'caring overload'. Sometimes I want to scream 'what about this what about that'. My job is high profile ad when people ask what I do and I answer honestly which I don't very often then it takes over the conversation. Like Dawn I just want light hearted conversation the majority of time.
ReplyDeleteThe higher your job profile the higher your chance of any overload.
DeleteWhen I was a social worker (along with a friend who was a policeman) I rarely told people when in a social situation, as I was regaled with people's, often inaccurate, views on public services.
My eldest daughter is now in a high profile job and has to be careful who she talks to and about what. She just wants to go out to chill and have a good time!
Gill
Nothing horrible about that. My daughter has CFS and she doesn't want to talk about illness even though she is sick herself. We try to find happy things to talk about.
ReplyDeleteHi Jean,
DeleteCFS is a bummer, she is so right to concentrate on happy positive things.
Gill
My son had a detached retina and had an operation a couple of days before Christmas and then had to lay on his left side for a fortnight!! Funnily enough each time I went to see him we had some amusing conversations - nothing about his illness at all.
ReplyDeleteI bet he was happy to see you. I can imagine that your conversations are amusing as your blog is so special.
DeleteI can't imagine having to keep still for two weeks, (two minutes is a struggle) though of course he had no choice.
Hope is is well on the mend now
Gill
some people wring the sponge dry and have nothing to go on about other than whats wrong with them. You need some me time. shut the world out. Books are a salve for me.
ReplyDeleteHi Sol. You are right, some people are like that, while others with little wrong with them want to talk of little else!
DeleteYes, books, books and more books!
Gill
Oh how much better I feel now. I thought I was a horrible uncaring person as I too am fed up with hearing about every minor illness and ailment. Glad that it isn't just me. Oh and your little patch of heaven looks beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI think everybody has suffered with THAT cough! Happy 2016 to you from North Yorkshire Dx
ReplyDelete